It can be surprising, but people who seem full of life and have everything going their way may actually be depressed.

How can people who seem stable in all aspects of their life, feel depressed? How are they able to force a smile to mask their mental illness? If you aren’t someone who typically struggles with a mental illness, it may seem tough to wrap your mind around how on one hand, a person can maintain a seemingly normal daily routine, yet also hit rock bottom in their struggles with mental illness.  The highs and the lows, good and bad, are unfortunately part of the struggle.  Alternatively, someone with depression may withdraw themselves from social events and other gatherings to avoid answering questions or having to interact with people when they simply do not feel like it or when their illness is so debilitating, they cannot.  It is important that regardless of your friend or family member’s behavior, you understand there are no hard and fast answers when it comes to mental illness, and that you should withhold judgment as he or she is often doing the best they can.

Lack of Understanding and Being Judged

People who are undergoing such issues are sometimes unsure how to reach out to others or talk about what they are going through. There is always the chance he or she just needs a good friend to confide in and have a shoulder to cry on – but that may be perceived by many as being needy or self-absorbed.

The problem is that many people may be too quick to judge – for instance, if you are regarded as a calm and centered person but you end up needing support, then your concern might be that people’s perception about you may change should you admit to a mental health issue.

This may be part of the reason depression becomes more acute as people start bottling up their feelings; simply put, they fear being judged by their friends and family. And so, they continue pretending to be content with life until they have a serious breakdown.

Instead of getting the required help, they choose to respond with a ‘fight or flight’ response where they alienate themselves and start avoiding people. And both these responses further lead them down a dark path that causes them and their families suffer.

Therefore, we all need to open up about how we feel and the issues we are dealing with, without the fear of being judged or shunned.  Also, speaking up about your feelings and the fact that you’re not feeling “o.k.” might make it easier for someone else to come forward and admit the same.  We also need to keep open minds when others are struggling.  Be willing to listen and help a friend or family member locate mental health resources if needed.

Kindness Counts

It is important that we all work on being more accepting and caring, with the understanding life may be extremely challenging for those suffering from depression.  Reach out to, and stay in touch with, those you fear may be struggling.

The bottom line is that everyone should feel safe, secure and confident to speak out about their problems – even if they are not obvious or don’t seem like a big deal. In other words, they should treat everyone with kindness and support without passing any judgment, especially since this reaction keeps people from seeking the help they need.

Overall, the fear of being judged can stop those suffering from mental illness like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and a multitude of additional mental illnesses from talking about their problems – or seeking medical help.

Besides lending a shoulder, it is important not to judge anyone; remember, it might seem like their life is perfect but in reality, they could have some deep seated issues or other problems that are affecting their mental health.