Helping a Suicidal Friend

The pressure and responsibilities that come with adulthood can often get us down and depressed. While most of us find the strength to go on, some don’t. A suicidal person may not always ask for help and signs can go unnoticed. However, if someone around you seems to be on a lower frequency than usual, the easiest way to show you care is by extending a helping hand.

Many of those who commit suicide do not want to die, they just cannot face the day-to-day challenges of life and want to stop their suffering. The best way to help those who are suicidal is by first knowing the symptoms.

Warning Signs of Suicide

If you know someone who talks about death in a nonchalant fashion, you should begin to pay close attention to their behaviourisms and preferences. While there are a few signs that you should keep a look out for; you should call an emergency helpline if you hear/see someone talking about wanting to hurt or kill themselves, are actively looking for ways to kill themselves, or posting about suicide and death on social media.

These are all cries for attention and can only be addressed after being identified. Signs of someone who may be thinking of committing suicide are:

• Talking about feeling hopeless, purposeless, or useless
• Feeling suffocated and trapped
• Isolation from friends and extracurriculars
• Acting recklessly
• Using and abusing substances
• Talk or write about feeling like a burden
• Drawing disturbing or gory images
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Excessive anger or lethargy
• Lack of desire to do anything
• Seeking out lethal means in the form of ammunition or medication

Red Flags

Those who commit, or try to commit suicide are not crazy or weak, they are simply grief-stricken and tired of their pain and suffering. There are some red flags that you can look out for in severely depressed people which may indicate that they have made the decision to attempt suicide.

• Saying goodbye
• Saying things like, ‘you’ll miss me when I’m gone’. As a joke, or in a serious manner
• Getting their affairs in order – making a will
• A sudden calmness and stability in their personality and mood (usually mistaken as recovery)
• Excessive self-destructive behaviour

What You Should Do

Keeping your worry to yourself will do you and your loved one no good. Often, feelings of despair and hopelessness arise from a lack of love or neglect in a person’s life. If you’ve been noticing signs of an impending suicide, speak to the person.

You may feel hesitant or uncomfortable in approaching such a topic, but know that it is, in fact, the best way to help a suicidal friend or family member. Show the person you care and ask them about themselves and how they feel; giving depressed or suicidal people an open and non-judgmental platform to speak helps them express their pent-up negative emotions.

How to React When Talking to a Suicidal Person

A person on the edge of their threshold needs compassion and sympathy more than ever. Being tough and telling them to ‘cheer up’ will only further strengthen their resolve to take their life.

Be yourself and show the person you care, talk to them and let them speak about the problems they are facing. Do not give your opinions or tell them that they are wrong to feel the way they do.

Listen carefully and support them no matter how negative they seem to be at the moment. Keep asking questions so that your friend can let all the frustration, anger, and sadness out.

Be empathetic towards them and the feelings they share with you. You want to make sure they feel heard and understood. Accept what they say without trying to actively change the way they feel. For now, let them vent and build their trust in you.

Take the conversation seriously, each and every word is carefully thought of before being spoken and represents how they really feel inside. If they say they cannot go on, or don’t want to, do not let it pass by. Ask them about what makes them feel that way, let them know that you are concerned and are there for them.

Never promise a suicidal person that you will keep this information confidential, it is important that your friend gets the help they need to relieve their suffering instead of taking their life.